Saeed Shoja Shafti

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During counseling or psychotherapeutic sessions, there are a lot of persons that introduce their partner as their absolute sweetheart and companion, while criticize them, as well, regarding their incompetence with respect to gratification or provision of anticipated sexual or romantic desires. Many of them may describe their partner as asexual, hypoactive or dishonest, while their own displeasure or jealousness may have root in a mismatch between sensual yearnings and spiritual longings. Now a question may arise that whether sex-object is equal to love-object, or they are unalike things with different intentions and tasks. Developmentally, while the sex-object may or may not be at the same time a love-object, the love-object can not be anything except than an ultimate item derived from sex-drive, though in a more sublimated shape. If we see sex-object and love-object as unalike items with diverse goal lines, such a distinction may assist patients toward achievement of better insight with respect to their judgments, object-related conflicts and ambivalences, which possibly will guide their expectations towards more realistic objectives and less bewilderment as regards their constant displeasures.

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